Remember that time I waited until Waverley was 18 months-old and we left her for 24 hours for the first time ever? And then, just a month later, left for two weeks? Just like that. Bye, Waverley! So sorry your life as you know it is changing dramatically. Chin up. This all occurred nearly one year ago and, I’ll admit, if I could re-do that scenario I would have built up to a two-week departure. However, it just didn’t work. We tried to schedule weekends away, yet with living far away from family there is just no one to watch the sweet girl. Therefore we just brought her everywhere with us for the first year and a half of her life. And then we needed a break. A big one.

So! Away we went to Europe for our first childless jaunt.

Given that this was quite the long trip and rather indulgent as well, I still receive questions from you all about the details: how did I prepare, who watched Waverley, how often did we FaceTime, how does SnapChat work? (Oh wait, that last one was what I just searched in Google.) I am going to give you all the lowdown on these details because I think a parents’ first trip away from the babe is huge and momentous and should happen very, very soon in life!

“Her absence was uneasy at times and we bickered, which made us realize it was even more important to have taken this trip. We needed the time and our marriage needed the effort…”

Let’s start from the beginning. Here’s how it all went down: We dialed in Waverley’s caregiver over a year prior to our trip. We knew we were Europe-bound and wanted to confirm childcare before getting too ahead of ourselves in planning mode. A very dear family friend/grandma graciously watched Waverley so we could gallivant around Europe. Thank you, Grandma Sally!

The following includes answers to most of the questions I receive about our trip. I hope you find this helpful! If you have any other questions please leave it in the comments section below!

Choosing a Caregiver:

I won’t delve too munch into the details of choosing a caregiver because it is a deeply personal choice. I will say, though, that both parents must both be on board with the person and feel 100% confident about the person. It is important to choose someone who has a natural repertoire with children, can think of fun activities in a pinch, and genuinely loves your child through the tantrums and silliness. Some other things to consider when choosing a caregiver for a trip:

• Their proximity to you. Will they purchase their own ticket to fly to you? Will you fly them to wherever you are?
• Household set up. Is there a comfortable guest room they can feel at home in for an extended period of time?
• Would you trust them to take care of you?
• Does your child enjoy their company?
• Are they comfortable driving in different areas?
• Will they respect the routine you’ve laid out and spent months/years establishing?

Prep Work:

Months Prior to Departure: Set the foundation. Starting a few months prior to the trip, we began telling Waverley we planned to go away but we would come back. We tried to schedule more weekend date nights so she grew accustomed to us always coming back. We watched the Daniel Tiger episode frequently where his parents leave and come back, because she loves Daniel Tiger and that song sure is catchy. Now she loves to tell people that “Mama came back.” It’s the truth.

Weeks Prior to Departure: I started making freezable dinners so Sally wouldn’t have to worry about cooking and so Waverley kept a more normal routine of her typical diet. I began typing up epic lists of Waverley’s daily routine and special rituals, places to go with addresses and phone numbers, and local contacts. I think there is no such thing as providing too much information when it comes to two weeks of sweet 1:1 time with someone else’s baby. There were also little things to remember, like ensuring she had a closet full of easily washable clothes that actually fit.

Days Prior to Departure: Sally arrived three days before we left so she could live Waverley’s routine before we left. I compiled a folder with the above-mentioned lists and also included a credit card with a note of authorization to use it, Waverley’s health insurance card, membership cards for places like the children’s museum, and our full trip itinerary. I wrote a medical authorization note in case of an emergency. We went grocery shopping and ensured the kitchen was stocked with everything. Nate drove Sally around to show her how to get to importance places.

The Day of Departure: On the day we left we enjoyed a normal morning at home, which was fantastic. I put Waverley down for her nap as usual and then we left. Au revoir! I remember getting so anxious at the airport I needed to take a Xanax. However, once I got on the plane and had 10 hours of uninterrupted time to read, I was perfectly relaxed. Leaving during Waverley’s nap time worked out well for us because we said our goodbyes beforehand and she was not surprised when she woke up without us there. Sneaking out is definitely not the best option, albeit it sure does avoid seeing the pain in their eyes when they see you leave and your last memory is of a crying, sad little person. That is the pits.

Communication:

Given that we were in a different time zone and country, we didn’t have as many opportunities to talk on the phone or FaceTime as often as I predicted. The first time we talked via FaceTime, Waverley acted completely indifferent towards us (meanwhile I was tearing up). We had a frequent texting relationship with Sally though, in which we let her know each time we left a city and when we arrived at our next destination. She would text daily summaries about how Waverley did and what fun they had. These were incredibly helpful so we felt connected and also at ease with our distance.

The Final Verdict:

Taking a two week trip without Waverley was certainly a lot of work, ironically– at least in the preparation. However, it was much-needed and the time away was rejuvenating. It was wonderful for Nate and I to re-bond as a couple first, parents second. Her absence was uneasy at times and we bickered a bit, which made us realize it was even more important to have taken this trip. We needed the time and our marriage needed the effort to reconnect after nearly two impossible years of childbirth, infancy, moving to Alaska, etc. It was a wonderful opportunity to focus on ourselves, including leisurely meals, apathy towards nap time and Waverley’s routine, and conversation unrelated to childrearing. I am so glad we went and incredibly grateful that we were able to. If you are on the fence and/or nervous about leaving your little one for a long vacation, I highly recommend it! You and your relationship with your partner deserve it. I genuinely feel the trip made us better parents.

PS Here is the collection of posts from our trip!
France: Anniversary Photoshoot, Lost in an Enchanted Forest, A Day in Paris, Explore Paris, and Visiting Southern France
Germany: Tiny German Village and Exploring Germany
The Czech Republic: 24 Hours in Prague
And my European Packing List and Favorite Places in Paris