I was often told certain stages in life are a “pass through”. Have you ever heard that saying? To me, it means that certain phases are quick, meaningless, and irrelevant (although I realize the intent was to take the life-ending emphasis off of faux-dramatic events during high school and college). I’ve come to appreciate that any stage in life is anything but a pass through. Each situation provides a bit of character, helps shapes who we are, and may change the trajectory of our future. I try to think of different phases as essential components to our life that are certainly relevent and meaningful, despite how quick they may be. I’m glad I shook the “pass through” belief after college, because it allowed me to truly appreciate the stages of life I was in at that given moment rather than wishing for the next phase (as my sister and I say, don’t wish your life away). I enjoyed my single days. I really enjoyed post-poning legit adult life while in grad school.

This concept has translated well to Nathan’s and my early married life. In our short marriage we’ve lived in several cities and three different houses. Most of these were less than ideal. We lived in a small, rural town in Eastern Oregon (La Grande), the ghetto of Baltimore, and now an apartment in Annapolis. Before we got married, I was finishing graduate school near Portland, Oregon, then briefly moved to La Grande to be with Nathan, and then moved to my brother’s house where I lived on an air mattress in a room sans carpet and a door. Although I was not 100% in love with each situation at the time, we always tried to make the best of it. Now, I think because of that mentality, we can look back and fondly reminisce over the random, fun times we had living in ridiculous places. It also provides a positive groundwork for what I am sure will be more adventures and weird living situations ahead.

{La Grande, Oregon}
I certainly struggled with living in La Grande. It’s a town of approximately 10,000 people and the main store is Wal-Mart. But, despite living a four-hour drive away from my friends and family, we sure had some good times there. The slow-pace and lack of shopping allowed for lots of free time, which we used for working out, planning our wedding, and outdoor adventures. We’d go on sunset hikes armed with a backpack of cheese and wine. We’d take out our mini yacht for weekend water excursions. We’d tipsily ride our bikes in the snow to the corner market to stock up on adult beverages for the night. Our jobs allowed us to take a lot of time off, which we took full advantage of for weekend trips to Portland and a trip to Belize. Charlie chased squirrels and deer on a daily basis. Our rent was dirt cheap. In hindsight, it wasn’t so bad.

{Baltimore, Maryland}
Then we made the trek across the country to Baltimore where we had a duplex lease signed sight-unseen (if you can help it, never do that). Our house didn’t have a dishwasher. It was old, noisy, and everything was coming apart. Drug deals and crime took place on our street corners. A guy who was très blitzed tried to barge into the house, looking for money. The sound of sirens sung us to sleep. But, we happened to share a wall with a couple who will undoubtedly be lifelong friends and through them we met many amazing people. We spent weekends at each other’s house. We’d talk over the fence. We’d watch each other’s dog. We hung out during the storms. They showed us the truly charming areas of Baltimore we might not have seen on our own. Nathan and I developed a ritual of washing dishes and listening to music. Charlie got to “play” with the neighborhood cats.

{Annapolis, Maryland}
We moved 35 miles south to Annapolis and kissed the ghetto goodbye. We miss our neighbors and feel even more isolated from our loved ones. We live in a lovely apartment with granite counters, a bona-fide dishwasher, and a fireplace. But, with no yard we have to take Charlie out which is brutal during extremely cold weather. We share a wall with a can’t-let-go-of-his-college-days frat boy who constantly parties. I have a merciless commute to Baltimore for work. We live in the cutest town and get to explore it each weekend. You win some, you lose some.

It’s important to be thankful for the current situation you’re in rather than always wishing for the future. As we are yet again on the cusp of change, I am trying to enjoy the present, our little apartment, and a time of seemingly little responsibility.