I have this nasty little habit.
I’ll be in a lovely mood or proud of an accomplishment and the happiness involved is quickly replaced by the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy when I think of someone else. Not anyone in particular, just a person who achieved more. And then I am sad. It is ridiculous.
Husband and I are attempting an experiment in which we will not compare ourselves to others. Not our friends, family, or strangers (that’s the worst of them all). It seems everyone is doing amazing things these days: Having kids, buying houses, getting promotions, driving new cars, living a better life. There is always someone lurking around the corner who is smarter, more attractive, skinnier, more creative, makes more money (or just does not have student loans!), is friendlier, happier, dresses better, decorates better, cooks better, networks better, runs marathons, seems perfect…Oh. My. Word. This is exhausting!
If you experience a similar infliction then I challenge you to join us and quit the unnecessary comparisons that steal joy from your achievements. Afterall, isn’t it the people who are seemingly secure and confident that we yearn to emulate anyway?
{Image via Pinterest}
I too have this nasty little habit as you put it and I hate myself for it. I guess a lot of people do, but if you are willing to change yourself then slowly but surely you will.
Here’s something I read on a blog once and I copy and pasted it on one of the sticky notes you get on Windows 7. The point being, everytime I turn on my laptop/computer it’s always there for me to read –
“You have always been taught.
Ever since you were a child, everyone around you has been teaching you lots of stuff about lots of things. Your parents, your teachers, your friends…even strangers. Your parents have un-arguably taught you the most. From the most basic stuff to some really complex things. Teachers, of course, teach you everyday. Your friends taught you the stuff your parents didn’t, probably because they knew that you are better off knowing it from your friends.
But, there are some things that no one has ever taught you. You figure them out yourself.
You buy a new pair of shoes. His are better. You get a new bike. He gets a better one. You get good grades. He gets good grades and has more fun too. You do something. He does it better.
His parents are not as restrictive. He’s got better looks. He is more popular. He never gets into trouble. Heck! he even has a girlfriend.
Your life is a nightmare. His is a sweet dream.
You have been a fool all this time. You never realized the truth. The moment you start appreciating what you have, it suddenly seems better than what he has. For all you know, he has been thinking the same way about you. The grass is always greener on the other side. No matter what you do, it always is. The only way you can make the grass on your side better is by accepting it the way it is.
You now have something he doesn’t… He is still troubled. His life is still a nightmare. You, on the other hand, are at peace with yourself.”
It’s so straightforward, but it has a point. At least I thought it did.
Apurva 🙂