Throughout my recent pregnancy I was very nervous about going from one child to two children. I constantly worried if I’d be able to give them both the attention they’d need (I am), if I’d lose myself in motherhood (too soon to tell), or if my heart was big enough to love two babies equally (absolutely!). Even though I am not quite two months in as a mother to two children, my experience thus far has been really positive. For me, going from zero kids to one was infinitely more difficult than going from one child to two children.
The biggest benefit of going from one child to two children is a change in perspective. Simply having gone through infancy before, so far, has made a tremendous difference. Perhaps it is due to the extremely rough first year I endured of Waverley’s life, because this time around with Magnolia is quite lovely. She is certainly not a better sleeper at night (far from it!) yet the trials of sleep deprivation seem far less devastating. This change in perspective has changed my attitude completely, in so many ways:
Ten Reasons Going From One Child to Two Children Is The Best
1. I realize how fleeting the newborn phase is and I am less anxious to “get things done.” I am perfectly content to sit on the couch snuggling and nursing, especially if Magnolia is particularly fussy, because I know the messes will eventually get cleaned up and I will eventually return the mountain of incoming emails. I will not, however, get back these precious early moments with my baby. I now love when I am forced to strip down for some skin-to-skin on the couch in front of the fire.
“If someone catches a glimpse of areola I feel as though they should not be looking so hard.”
2. I feel so much more confident in my mothering capabilities. I’ve had moments since Magnolia was born when I couldn’t believe I was capable of handling so much, yet I did. Each triumphant experience makes me feel stronger and more prepared to handle the catastrophes that will inevitably be thrown my way.
3. Running errands with just a baby is now like a vacation. With the exception of breastfeeding in the car, I get to move at my own pace and Magnolia just comes along for the ride. It’s such a change from herding a very poky toddler around who demands chocolate milk at the grocery store and needs to inspect every pumpkin.
4. I have pre-existing support and mom friends. Since I already have a kiddo, I have a supportive group of mom friends to hangout with. When Waverley was born, I had few friends with kids and the isolation of that was palpable. Now, I feel supported by these other women and meeting for a quick coffee, etc, is an essential break for survival.
“I’ve learned to welcome assistance with wide, eager, open arms.”
5. Nate and I are more on the same page. With the first kiddo there is so much to learn– not only about oneself as a parent– but regarding your spouse’s parenting tendencies as well. After the second baby we know how each other parents, which makes the days go by easier. I also feel as though the parenting workload is less on me than before since there is a toddler to take care of as well. One-to-one defense!
6. I am more grateful. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve known more people who struggle to conceive and the blessings of these two little gals we get to call ours is not lost on me.
7. I’ve embraced the need for help. Perhaps this is my own psychosis, yet after Waverley was born I felt obligated to do everything myself. It was exhausting and I failed miserably. Now, I’ve let that go and have learned to welcome assistance with wide, eager, open arms.
“Waverley peed her pants and Magnolia simultaneously had a blowout and I was out of wipes without any changes of clothes? It’s fine.”
8. I am so over breastfeeding modestly. It’s not always possible to shuffle a hungry baby and ornery toddler into a private area (i.e., a bathroom stall) so I’ll feed Magnolia wherever we are. If someone catches a glimpse of areola I feel as though they should not be looking so hard.
9. Sibling love. Witnessing Waverley turn into a big sister and Magnolia’s face begin to light up when she sees Waverley is pure joy. I look forward to their sisterly bond developing every day. Plus, I get to dress them in matching clothes which is obviously the most important aspect of having two girls.
“Each triumphant experience makes me feel stronger and more prepared.”
10. “It’s fine” is my new mantra, because sanity. So Waverley peed her pants while I was talking to a physician/guest lecturer for my class and Magnolia simultaneously had a blowout and I was out of wipes? It’s fine. So Magnolia needed to be fed that very second or she’d die and Waverley couldn’t find her right arm (Paña) and had an epic meltdown? It’s fine. It’s all fine. These moments pass.
I’d love to know, which transition was the hardest for you? Zero kids to one? One to two? Two to three? I’ve heard so many different answers and love that we all have a different perspective.
