I’ve been interested in birth order from a curiously young age. I realized even then that the torment I received from my older siblings– being locked in the dog kennel, told to believe I was adopted (and shown “official” papers), general teasing and torture, etc.– was a unique characteristic of my place in the family. It also impacted how I interacted with others: I usually got along quite well with people older than me, yet came across as too abrupt with my own peer group. I rarely watched age-appropriate television and lived in hand-me-downs.

Since then, I’ve always gravitated towards articles regarding birth order and its impact on personality. I studied it in school, I forward them on to my two older siblings, and I even cite them to Nate as an excuse for my behavior. Although it is simply a theory that has been both proven and disproven, I truly believe where we are born in our family molds who we become. How can it not? I don’t believe birth order personality stereotypes are everyone’s destiny, but it sure can explain a few idiosyncrasies in my own family.

Now, as a parent, I am even more enamored with the power of birth order. I can see the things we do as parents that shape our children and the habits we instill in them based on where we are in our life when they are born. Waverley is definitely exhibiting “First/Only Child” tendencies already with our strict routine and penchant towards cleaning the house. She typically likes things in their place and does not do as well when her regimen is altered. She is advantaged with time and resources as we spend hours reading with her each day and ensure she eats the healthiest meals. She cannot fall asleep anywhere but a crib or carseat because our schedule always revolves around her naps. (I remember my friend’s younger babe falling asleep on the dirty, hard floor of her older sister’s science class. I was in awe.) With all of our parental attention on her, I foresee an intelligent, possible future CEO, and perhaps Type A person evolving. Or just a monster. Too soon to tell.

The topic is again on my mind as Nate and I prepare for our European adventure (sans Waverley!). I think of the many times my parents left me for vacations compared to my older siblings. It was a lot more! Another friend, who is also the youngest of three, just told me her parents left her for ten days when she was only four months-old. The more relaxed nature of parenting subsequent children really makes me contemplate how birth order affects us. Would I have left Waverley at four months-old for ten days? If asked at the time, I would have said absolutely not!. Yet now, looking back, I think hey that’s not a bad idea. Maybe the next time around I will, after all Hawaii sounds nice after four months of sleepless nights. And by child number three, I’m sure the age won’t matter as much as just needing a break. From three kids.

If you’re unfamiliar with the basis, here’s a quick synopsis of Birth Order and Personality and the corresponding traits that are usually associated with where one falls in the family:

Oldest/Only Child

• Craves structure and routine
• Particular and methodical
• Organized
• Achievement oriented
• Parent pleaser
• Authoritarian

Middle/Second Child

• Attention-seeking
• People pleaser
• Introverted
• Low self-esteem
• Good negotiator or diplomatic
• Competitive

Youngest Child

• Large social circle
• Craves attention
• Charming and/or manipulative
• Flexible
• Poor decision-making skills
• Frequently spoiled

I’d love to know, where do you fall on the birth order spectrum? Do you or your children correspond with the stereotypes and predicted personality tendencies? Do you identify more with the child that holds the same place as you? (As in, if I have three children {quite unlikely}, I feel as though I will really be able to relate to the youngest and perhaps have a special bond with them.)