There are days when everything goes smoothly. There are no meltdowns. No tears. No injuries. No losses of your own temper or muffled expletives. The littles nap according to a miraculously orchestrated clock. It’s pretty blissful and may be just as rare. When my friend visited last week with her two girls we actually had several days like that. We went to coffee, explored snowy parks, experienced the zoo (it was very Alaskan), and thoroughly enjoyed everyone’s company. The girls played together beautifully and napped simultaneously. It was lovely and bewildering and heartwarming. At one point, the topic came up of how we didn’t have to “work hard” because none of the aforementioned altercations occurred. We wondered if Nate would think we did anything all day.

Then, in a moment of grandeur, I related a blissful day like that to elite athletes who make everyone think they can easily pick up a new sport and head for Olympic gold themselves. (Don’t pretend you’ve never watched Michael Phelps swim and thought: I could totally learn butterfly this weekend.) Or, those inspiring super bloggers who make the gig look absolutely effortless (it’s not). Effective parenting can be just like that. I believe a great, timely nap is due to months of diligence, often foregoing your own schedule for the baby’s. I believe calm, happy babies are that way due to feeling loved, nurtured, and encouraged. I think those rare, happy days are the product of the trying, overwhelming days. Just think of everything that goes into days like that: predicting hunger, remembering enough diapers/supplies/that special blanket, providing appropriate snacks, possessing a magical sense of timing to know how long you can stay in a certain place, providing comfort, maintaining your own calm, putting them down for a nap at just the right moment before the opportunity is lost, knowing your child’s needs before they do, etc, etc, etc! Those are the days when the hard work pays off. Those are the days when months of training grow palpable and culminate in a wonderful performance in an opening night type of way. Those days, as blissful as they may seem, aren’t easy… but they do make it all worth it.

So, mama, next time you feel embarrassed about your babe’s long nap, your dreamy coffee date, or your tantrum-free day of errands: Don’t you dare negate your hard work as being easy! Actually, make sure to treat yourself with extra love because obviously your hard work is gloriously evident in the little lives you are raising. You make motherhood look easy and that’s the proof of a true expert. Well done, mama. Well done.