I felt prepared for having a newborn. I’m an involved auntie to several little ones, spent years babysitting, and worked in pediatrics, including the NICU. Logically I knew about diaper changes, messiness, and an inevitable change to daily life. I know what reflexes are integrated and when, I know the timeframe for achieving developmental milestones better than I know the clothes in my closet, and I know how to handle and position even the tiniest of babies. I knew these things in my head but didn’t really comprehend the impact of a newborn until I had one. With that in mind, I created a list of the top things I wish I knew about having a newborn. They are points I’ll have to try and remember the next time around for a more enjoyable newborn experience.

• Sleep deprivation is legit. People talk about it (too much probably) but several months of haphazard sleeping can seriously destroy your soul. The advice to sleep when the baby sleeps is wise and I regret not incorporating that into my daily routine more often.
• You will love your significant other more and in different ways than you could have imagined. They will also drive you more bananas than before. Seeing my husband with our daughter is heartwarming. Getting nudged for the third time in a night to “get the baby” is enough to make any gal slip into psychosis.
• It’s easy to become a martyr. Ask for help! Seriously! If you need to take a nap/take a shower/not cook dinner/get a manicure/do something to make you feel normal, just ask. I remember a night when Waverley was about 6-7 weeks old and would not go to bed. My body ached from exhaustion. I was crying because I just wanted to go to sleep so badly. I simply asked my husband to feed her and put her into bed and, you know what, he did. Two and a half hours later she fell asleep which meant I scored an extra two and half hours of rest. Nate slept in the next morning and life was 0.5% better. Victory!
• Breastfeeding is exhausting. Pumping is a lot of work. I’m eight months in and still going, but it was/is not easy.
• Pregnant bellies are adorable and garner much attention and compliments. Post-partum bellies are not adorable. Which is why:
• I’m still wearing some of my maternity clothes. Yes, she is eight months old.

Dear Two Month Postpartum Self,

Cut yourself some slack. If you only knew how long you’d be rocking those clothes.

Sincerely, Eight Month Postpartum Self. XOXO.

PS Your stretch marks have not gone away.

• Postpartum weight loss occurs quickly (hooray! this is easy!) until those last 10 pounds seem to hang on for dear life as if your body needs to keep extra reserves in case another baby decides to implant itself in your uterus again.
• This is not so much about having a newborn but more related to immediate postpartum life: The first attempt going to the bathroom is nearly as painful as childbirth. I still have PTSD from that experience. Consider yourself warned.
• There’s no such thing as too many pictures!
• The newborn phase flies by in an instant. I wish I would have spent more time cuddling with Waverley on the couch rather than trying to get her to sleep in a swing/her bed/the wrap so I could clean the house/make dinner/whatever. I mean, that stuff is really not important in the grand scheme of life. I don’t remember feeling peace due to a tidy house and home-cooked meals but I do remember constantly being frustrated for feeling like I was not doing enough. Which brings me to my next point:
• Lower your expectations of what you can get done in a day. For those of us that worked full-time prior to having a babe, it’s easy to have grand thoughts about all we’ll get done on maternity leave. Entire days to do chores, make crafts, bake, cook, run errands, meet with friends?! … um, no. Not really at all. Once I lowered my expectations to what was realistic to accomplish I began to feel much better about life.
• Take full advantage of the newborn phase when the babe can go out in public and will likely sleep through dinners out, grocery shopping, etc. Once they are older life takes an unfortunate turn when days are scheduled according to nap time.
• It will get better. She will eventually sleep through the night. She will stop having blowouts every day. She will smile at you just for walking into the room. She will know you are her parent and will love you more than anyone.

What about you other parents out there, what surprised you most about having a newborn? What do you wish you knew then that you know now?